Snake And Hound
by Tankou001
Summary: Kakashi wants a good Christmas Eve. Anko wants a good Christmas Eve with Kakashi. The White haired ninja couldn't be less thrilled. How will Anko work her way into Kakashi's bed for the holidays? How will Kakashi keep from going mad under the pressure?


Snake And Hound

A KakAnko fanfiction

Hey all! Tankou001 here with an all new Christmas One Shot! Still hate the holiday season, still love writing Christmas one shots. As usual I probably won't get what I want, never have. As usual, it doesn't matter and I'll be happy for what the universe feels fit to give me. Even if I don't like the holidays I encourage those out there to embrace the spirit. Make friends. Make family XP Make new awesome gifts and get into the holiday shtick. This fic revolves around Anko and Kakashi, who I genuinely believe are a canon pairing. (Not KakaRuka... ) Lets see if Kakashi gets to grant Anko's Yule Time wishes. Since Anko and Kakashi are both clearly old enough to be all lovey I'm not gonna mention their ages (not that I know them) we'll say the rookies are all 18.

{HR}

Gentle music played upon the village the night of Christmas Eve. Hatake Kakashi wandered about, book in hand, nose in book. It all wasn't happening to him, the hustle and bustle of last minute holiday shopping, the whine of children to parents of what they wanted for Christmas and what they hoped Santa would deliver to them. Kakashi didn't have to worry about this. He didn't have family anymore ad the students of his in years past were either dead or more likely going to the same party as he was tonight, the usual old party for those who shared teams and dreams together. Kakashi was a teacher, not a student. He didn't get the connection as well as the others.

It was alright though. It wasn't like Kakashi didn't have fun every holiday season, what with the food, alcohol and attractive women to ogle at with his eyes, so sharp. But largely, Make-Out Tactics touched his mind more than anything else; the women shoving through lines to get the last item on sale for their children, the men shoving through lines to get the last item on sale for their women. Nobody wanted to be left out this Christmas so Kakashi, the one who was alright with it, got to smile grandly at the scene laid out before him on his morning mission to buy breakfast. It was pleasant to have nothing to do. The few gifts Kakashi ha bought were already neatly wrapped back home, the stocking stuffers for the party proper ready to be opened up and inserted into big red stockings.

"Remember a gift for me?" A familiar yet all too unnerving voice sprang out from behind the Copy Ninja's back. He turned to lay eye upon Mitarashi Anko, the sole surviving student of the Sannin Orochimaru, the Snake Jounin who would more gladly peel off into her own thing if there was the promise of Dango at the end. She was annoying and yet strangely alluring. Kakashi couldn't deny, though, that she got her jobs done. Mitarashi Anko was nothing if not a model ninja of Konohagakure No Sato. Something Kakashi couldn't quite sport, what with his bad line of lateness. Anko always arrived early.

"Uh..." Kakashi said, tearing his eyes from his book for the first time all morning, not quite sure what to say. He and Anko had done missions together exclusively before but he couldn't abide by her company for extended periods of time. It put the white haired teacher ill at ease. "Aren't you going to spend time with your family, Anko-san?" Kakashi asked. The normal response to invitations to Christmas stuff was "Spending time with family" so it could only help to get him out of this if he asked about it... right?"

"Oh of course not," Anko said, grabbing onto Kakashi's arm and pulling him closer. "My family all thinks I'm crazy" she said with an ear-to-ear smile, as if nothing made her more proud than to admit it. "So is it true you can reproduce anything you see with that one eye?"

"Mostly..." Kakashi said disinterested.

"We'll have to take advantage of that later." Anko said smiling

"You presume you have full control of me during this activity."

The rope was already around him, closing in quickly. Kakashi flashed out of the picture and away, leaving a snaking tendril of rope that would have otherwise bound Kakashi till he couldn't breath sliding shut on air as Kakashi was gone Anko snapped her fingers in frustration. She wanted that man this Christmas and nothing was going to stop her today. She would set up traps and arrange meetings and stalk him all day long if she had to... well really just for fun. Not like Mitarashi Anko didn't stalk Kakashi already. Not like Kakashi's students hadn't already largely tried all of the tricks Anko was setting up, tying to find out what Kakashi's face looked like underneath the cloth.

If she was right about it though, he would be back on his route, almost to the adult bookstore. Kakashi would always stop along the way to look at the bookstore, perusing its many popular new titles, skimming ever so briefly through the oldest most expensive ones, giving a look over the cheapest ones. Finally, the golden collection, the greatest of all ero books. The best of the best, always nestled at the fourth most expensive prices in the store. He stayed in that section for extended periods of time, his time this Christmas Eve might as well be nuzzled into a wonderful new ero novel. What better Christmas could there be?

"Why do you like this stuff?" A familiar voice echoed from Kakashi's left side, very close. "I much prefer Hentai Manga. More pictures. More action."

Kakashi heard hissing at his feet. Again it was Mitarashi Anko, trying to make away with him for Christmas. "I like the refined style of good literature over some picture. A picture may say a thousand words but there are more words than that on a single page of my book. And some pages in your books have no words at all."

"We can make this easy or difficult. You choose, Hatake Kakashi..." Her voice was full of lust, eager wanting. She just wanted to pull Kakashi back home and do with him what she liked. Kakashi couldn't sympathize.

As much as he was a an of the ladies (Being the sexiest man in Konoha) Anko's family was right when they thought the women was crazy. She was. Kakashi hadn't ever known if it was latent or if Anko's mind was still scarred and twisted from Orochimaru's but nothing about Mitarashi Anko was quite right. Speaking on a purely unbiased level Kakashi knew for a fact that she was the most promiscuous woman in Konoha. Man or woman probably didn't matter to her and it was quite clear that she wasn't opposed to another after her and her partner, or another or another. "I choose neither..." The snakes struck. Anko's hands tightened around his chest for purchase They met none.

And Kakashi was elsewhere yet again in Konoha. He wasn't going to let the crazed snake woman get him down. Speaking respectfully, of course, Kakashi knew he could both defeat in combat and get away from Mitarashi Anko in a race. He was better than her in every statistic, in fact. It wasn't some rivalry where one side had an edge over the other like he and Gai. Anko was just outclassed by every one of Anko's abilities.. Still he guessed she wouldn't be stopping anytime today. Then again, it wasn't all bad. There were some places Kakashi could go that even Anko couldn't break into due to "Security Reasons."

Soon enough Kakashi was exactly where he should be, the best place of it all; Konohagakure No Sato Hot Springs. The bookstore hadn't gone so well due to Anko's attack but if he couldn't have a Christmas Eve snuggled up in his home he knew he could definitely settle the holiday night in a hot spring bath. Before he knew it he would be sipping Sake and relaxing the night away, ready for the Hokage's Private Holiday Bash tomorrow where, unless she was arm candy for a higher ranking or more reputable Ninja, Mitarashi Anko would not be present.

There weren't many people in the hot springs. With it being the holidays most people were off elsewhere, with family or partners or just on vacation, as many ninja had during the holidays. Still there were noises from the women's side. Kakashi couldn't deny that he had picked up Naruto and Jiraiya's old habit of staring at women on the opposite side of the fence. Ever so slowly his body drifted from one side of the pool to another, then back again, until attention was definitely just not on him. The "Security Reasons" Anko wouldn't be catching Kakashi in the bathhouse were interesting because they didn't really apply if one was willing to go the dance of breaking the rules but Kakashi shook the thought from his mind, despite a chilling sensation in this hot water he was sure nothing would end badly. He'd done this a million times before.

Slowly, while nobody was looking the white haired ninja drifted to the wall, that ever present little hole that anybody, male or female, could catch a full view of the entire bath with, change view, look around. Few were sharp enough to notice it but those who were got a good show, whatever gender they happened to be. As Kakashi let a smile stretch under his bathing make he lowered his eye to the peephole just long enough to see a familiar muted brown eye staring right into his. He turned away and flattened himself against the wall next the the peephole. That was Anko, he knew. How had she caught up to him so fast? How had she known he would be here?

He slipped back to stare through the peephole. Mitarashi Anko was gone, nowhere in the delicious scenery that blessed Kakashi's eyes. He waited, prayed she would just come up for air and he could dip out right then, leaving her behind without a moment's warning. A solid feeling touched between Kakashi's legs, under the water. Anko's voice said, "Peeping on the ladies. How naughty, Kakashi-san. A gentleman should behave better when in public places."

"You'll have to excuse me if I'm not all that gentlemanly." Kakashi said, feeling very strong coils wrap around his ankles. Snakes, more snakes, all around. How did nobody notice that there was a woman in the men's side of the hot springs? Then again, it didn't sound very manly to scream "Eek Peeping Jill!" in the men's side of the hot springs. Screaming about a molester would get him even less far with help from his fellow man.

"I'm not giving you much of a choice, Half-Eye." Anko's lusty lips spoke into the ear on his blind side.

Then it hit him, like a fireball straight in the face. Kakashi said, "Oh, look at this! A nude, vulnerable woman, attractively placing herself in the men's hot spring." just loud enough for all the men to hear and nobody on the other side of the wall to care enough about to pay attention to.

Heads turned all around the pool. A few more men were just coming in. Anko's grip on Kakashi slackened. "Don't say that..." Anko's voice spoke quietly behind him.

"What's that?" Kakashi said, just as loudly as before, "You say you're here to service all the men in the hot spring." Kakashi made a chuckle, a very real one. He said, "Well I don't know how they would feel about that. Let's ask them."

"Oh jeez..." The snakes released him, Anko stepped back in the water. Whatever illusion she had used to make sure nobody had seen her was gone. The water sloshed loudly at her waist as she moved away from Kakashi. Three individuals were already right there, grabbing at Anko's attractive body eagerly. Kakashi slipped away. Anko's voice spoke one last time before he faded out, a smile on her lips. "Sooner than you think... I'll be the-" He didn't hear the rest. He just saw Anko's form splashing into the water as a dozen sex starved, naked men crashed into her.

Next he was at the ramen shop. It wasn't anything unusual or fancy but the festive lights that lined the store and the smiling faces of Ayame and Tseuchi were all he needed to cheer up. Anko didn't come to Ichiraku, Kakashi was pretty sure. She hadn't even gone during that one big fad where there was low calorie ramen. He would at least be safe and fed here if nothing else He ordered a large pork miso ramen to start him off. When it arrived he talked with the owners, not noticing the few others in the shop or even the individual who sat next to him, having arrived seconds after him. He did give him a look over when he got there though. Some man with long and billowing cloak.

"Serve me up four shrimp ramen, extra large. Just got done on a trip, Hungry." He had said, his gruff voice almost stressed. Kakashi didn't bother to take note of it. He couldn't see the man's face, so long and covering was his hood, which he wouldn't pull down.

Bowl followed bowl, plate or goodies after plate of goodies. Dango, sake, ramen, fried noodles. Ayame inquired with Kakashi about who he would be spending Christmas Eve with. Kakashi waved it off. He said he had nothing to do. The young woman blushed. She and her father were one of the few people Kakashi had ever let see his face. Needless to say to had put him in good standing with the owner and put a large spot in his poor daughter's heart for the Copy Ninja. Kakashi knew the brunette wanted him almost as bad as Anko, though the white haired man had to say he would have been more likely to choose the reserved, modest Ayame over the wanton, crazy Anko.

In fact, maybe it wasn't so bad to have a simple Christmas Eve. Kakashi liked Ichiraku a lot and Ayame was getting to that stage in life where a strong male role, every once in a while, would do some better While Anko had devious ways for Kakashi the Hatake ninja blushed to think on his own devious ways toward a much more innocent individual. This would be just fine. Kakashi would wait out the night with Ayame and her father, eat ramen to his heart's delight and swap stories back and forth through the night. And when the father went to sleep Kakashi could slip into a set of covers with the daughter, have a wonderful Christmas Eve spent just how it should be spent, and slip out before daddy woke her up in the morning

The stranger next to him eventually stood, having finished off many more bowls of ramen than Kakashi, having not been involved in the chatting. "You!" He said, his stressed, gruff voice cracking a bit. Kakashi looked up at him. "I got somethin to tell you! Let's take this outside."

Kakashi was confused. The man hadn't a problem the whole time, why now? Why not a while back when everyone was getting settled in, when he had arrived, both of them? "I don't want any trouble." Kakashi said with a shy smile. This man must have been some kind of idiot as well. To not know who Kakashi was in Konoha at Ichiraku was a little silly. Hesitantly Kakashi stepped out with the man, who grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close. "Is there a problem?"

The man's darkened hood neared Kakashi's face, still giving no purchase as to whom wore the cloak. "Do you know what you did to me?" The man's voice asked angrily, almost sounding as to work against itself, losing the edge it had seconds ago.

"I'm sorry I don't recall ever meeting you." Kakashi said, sweat-dropping.

Anko's feminine voice was the next voice to come from the man's hood. "It was a good work out but nothing like number one, Copycat."

Kakashi bristled. How could she have followed him so fast? How had she gotten out of that and arrived only seconds after the faster individual to arrive? He moved to get out but Anko's free hand reached out to stop his, her fingers like individual boas, crunching down on his hands before he could form his seals, keeping them from moving. "And now I'm going to make you go to hell, then I'll bring you up to heaven."

Kakashi's mind tensed. What could he do, what was he going to do? Then it dawned on him. How had he forgotten? A few seconds pause came, Anko still waiting for Kakashi's answer. Then, a smile on Kakashi's face. "I'll have to pass." POOOOF! Kakashi was a log.

Elsewhere Kakashi feet his substitute lose consciousness, the food and knowledge from one to the other. He thanked himself for that advanced plan. He hadn't even been at Ichiraku. He was at the park, a place where other ninja, with lesser titles, of course watched constantly for lewd conduct and disturbance of the peace. If Anko found him here and caused a fuss she would be the one that would have to flee, not Kakashi. Happy couples passed by. He read Make-out Tactics as always, observing the gentle flow of lovers and families enjoying a quality Christmas Eve. This wasn't so bad. It would get cold in the night but Kakashi had a home to go back to. If someone talked with him he would work from there. Sitting in the park, enjoying the Christmas Eve night watching all the others enjoy it as well. He was sure this would be the best place to wait out the remainder of his Christmas Eve. The day was still quite young and Kakashi would enjoy reading his book for the umpteenth time. It was the Sannin Jiraiya's work, of course. So it could be read as many times as one wished without losing out on good material.

It was almost an hour of peace and quiet, complete serenity, before another individual bothered Hatake Kakashi. A ninja appeared in front of him, just the standard chuunin with nothing better to do with her time on her holiday employment, one of the park watchers. "Excuse me, Hatake Kakashi, please come with me."

Her hair was a plain white, just like Kakashi's, though long enough to reach her butt and curly were Kakashi's hair was straight. Her face had a scar along the left side, straight vertical to the left of her eye, completely down the left side of her face. It drew attention but didn't take away from the prettiness of her face. Whoever she was she had done well to maintain her appearance despite the mar. Then again, it wasn't unusual for even the most attractive female ninja to have scars, face scarring of which was one of the most common. Take Kakashi himself, for example, or Iruka.

Reluctantly Kakashi stood and looked around for Anko. She knew that these sort of people were here to keep her from causing mischief. If she had found him yet she would know this was not the time to pull something but it was a time to cause confusion, which Anko was possibly better, so Kakashi had discovered in the past day, than even he was. So much for assuming he was better at everything than her.

The patrol ninja poofed away and Kakashi followed, easily able to follow the Chuunin's movement with his superior skills. He hadn't been breaking any rules. Maybe she was trying to get together with him, Christmas Eve and a reputable ninja lounging in her park on her hours, theoretically she could ask him anything she liked. Chances of there being anyone around who cared, zero. Kakashi was a lucky guy, he supposed.

The chuunin stopped on a rooftop and Kakashi landed next to her. "You need something from me?" He asked. The chuunin nodded shyly. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. He had the feeling it would come to this.

"Well, you see," She started, "I've been following you... for some time now." Kakashi couldn't keep back the happy blush that filled him. An admirer at that. Not that her stalkeresque feelings didn't sting in a way, mainly that he hadn't noticed that some young untrained thing earlier on was spying on him in his private time. Still it was a good thing, Kakashi thought to himself. "And every time I try to see you something comes up."

And she was a victim of circumstance as well? Kakashi had to say that over appearance circumstance was him favorite reason for meeting up with women. They hadn't been able to talk to him and now they could. All that pent up sexual tension; It really got the ol' hormones moving when the time called for it. "Well I'm here now." He said with a smile.

"Good," The girl said, staring at her feet and bringing her hands slowly to her face. "Because, this entire time..."

"Ya?" Kakashi replied seeing the finish line in sight

The girl made a wrenching motion and her face came off, her hair flew away. "I really wanted to have sex with you!" Anko screamed, her eyes angry. Slowly, very slowly, the Heaven Seal spread over her body, her growling voice maintained in concentration. "And so help me, Hatake Kakashi. I'll have you, in my bed, tonight!"

Kakashi stepped back but Anko was on him like a fox, her vixen steps longer and more instant now. Kakashi had a difficult time keeping her in the vision of his good eye. His first reaction, as usual, was to poof out of existence. He was gone. He arrived at the last place he imagined Anko would ever go; his home. Kakashi doubted Anko had ever even seen his house the little two floor, two bedroom place he had lived in for years. On top of that Anko would never think Kakashi to just flee back to his abode, hoping the easily broken down walls would just hold her at bay or something. _Last place she would ever think to look..._ Kakashi mused in his head as he let his body fall and hit he cushions of his couch.

After some minutes of sitting in silence, sure that the coast was clear, Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. He was sure he would be clear for the night, definitely. His wasn't so bad. Steadily he walked around his house. It was barely noon and yet Hatake Kakashi was sure that she would be fine for the rest of the day in his house, welcome to himself and his effects as long as he desired, at least until the Hokage's Holiday Bash tomorrow night. He would make dinner, set into a good book and then, after all that was done he would retire just like any other night and sleep well for a wonderful Christmas with friends.

There was a noise as Kakashi read his book. At first he paid no mind to it. Just stuff outside. Another noise, similar. _Probably the same anima_l he thought as he went back to work. The next noise came again, from his room, now that he listened to it. Was somebody trying to break into his home. Not Anko, he hoped. He stood and stepped up his stairs, another awkward sound coming to his ears, same as before.

As he stepped up the stairs cautiously. It could be a burglar, easy enough. Then again it COULD be Mitarashi Anko, finally come to get him. How long had it been since he last cared? An hour ago, two? The dull thumping and sliding continued as he crested the staircase, the slide like a hand on a wooden door, silently skimming along the surface. One step... Two step... Three! Kakashi swung open his bedroom door. His window was lined with Christmas lights, his room more festive than he had left it. Anko sat mostly nude on his bed, her legs spread to reveal a g-string with a Christmas tree on the little patch that covered up everything. A little red top adorned her chest, white fur trim all over it. It was a bit of Chrirarism that Kakashi could appreciate but it didn't excuse the fact that Anko's appearance was unwelcome. The ceiling was mistletoe, an entire blanket of green that was lit up just enough to see it for what it was. "If you'd just told me you preferred your bed," Anko said with a devilish grin, "You could have told me, Kakashi-san. You and I are under the mistletoe. You know what that means."

Anko's fingers traced down her form, gently sliding along her supple curves. Her right hand traced fingers down her chest, past her belly-button and loomed just long enough at her waist so Kakashi just had to look. Then she traced her fingers to the little Christmas Tree between her legs. "Kiss me here."

Kakashi poofed, only to smack face first against his window. Anko laughed on his bed. "I sealed that window up. The lights bar travel jutsu." Kakashi poofed again, this time to his front door. There was a slapping of flesh against wood. Anko's arms were already around him, her mostly nude form rubbing against his clothed one laden with sensuality. "I took the liberty of stringing up all the lights for your home, Kakashi-san. And since there are people up to no good this time of year I also replaced all the locks in your home with ones of my own. I'm sure you can have the keys after we're through. But for now all of them are locked... from the outside at that."

Kakashi was ready to do it. Poofing back upstairs he arrived just on time to see Anko poof into existence next to him. He didn't have time. The seal was stretching ever more steadily about her form, powering her, quickening her. If Kakashi couldn't get away by the time it spread over her entire body... Well he just didn't want to think about it. He ran for the window, still shining with lights. He leaped, arms crossed in front of his face, ready for the impact. He crashed through the window and landed, rolling back to a standing position and poofing, only to find his face against the window again. He was sure he had broken through and rolled to safety. But as he checked the same window was still very much intact.

"I studied a bit of Time/Space jutsu under Orochimaru-sensei." Anko's voice echoed as she stepped up to Kakashi at the window. "Good for setting traps. No matter how many times you jump out the window it'll break inward and you'll find yourself rolling to a stand on your own floor."

Kakashi was at a loss for words. Now Anko was just using something that, by definition, was better at the particular skill than both of them. Objects didn't have a level of ability, they were one. But it rose a very important question. "Anko-san?" Kakashi asked. "How are we getting out of here?"

Anko gave Kakashi a look of confusion. "I thought you would find a way once we were done. Until then I'll just keep you too busy to find a way out. I'm sure I can keep you company long enough to make up for it... Can't I?" Anko loomed over Kakashi, her seal almost completely covering her, the Heaven seal that could make an individual catastrophically powerful. Kakashi hadn't ever been sure if she had mastered the seal's power but he couldn't deny her increase in mission statistics over recent years.

"A-Anko-san," Kakashi said smiling through his mask, his hands coming in front of him flat together, "I'm sure there's a different way to work this out."

"Oh no," Anko said, grabbing Kakashi by the shirt and pulling him toward his bedroom. Kakashi couldn't run away anymore. He loathed using violence on a fellow village ninja so he was still trying for the social aspect of it all. He had a feeling Anko wanted to take her time with him. Kakashi was nothing if not a diplomat as much as he could be. "You made me go through some really embarrassing stuff. I just wanted to have sex with you today."

"But surely there's someone else you wanted to do this with." Kakashi insisted

Anko had dragged him up his stairs already, tossing him onto his bed. Kakashi yiped in surprise as Anko slammed herself down atop him, staring him greedily in the eyes. "If it's not you there's no point." She said. "It's gotta be you!"

"I... Don't follow..." Kakashi said simply, sweat-dropping.

Anko's face contorted into anger and then frustration, confusion then contemplation... then back to anger. "You've fucked more women singlehandedly than any other man I know of." She said. "I'm really good at stalking. REALLY good! I find exactly what I want when it comes to this thing. I've fucked a lot of guys, tons more than any girl I've known. I haven't gotten you!" Anko's body shook atop him, twitching in his direction every now and then, like there was some ethereal chain that bound her up and she was just smart enough to understand that if she jumped now she would stop short and the chain would choke her. But she was still impatient. She would forget every now and then for just a second, then she would catch herself and get back for a bit. "If I can't get you here tonight an entire career of seduction means nothing. Do you know how good you are, Kakashi-dono?

"You're untouchable. Even higher echelon Elite jounin know your name, you're a trans-generational hero. You have the sharingan and yet you are not Uchiha." Anko looked at Kakashi, her eyes begging, pleading to let go of her own restraints but she knew she couldn't jump the gun, Kakashi could see it; And she was right. Anko had his house locked up. She would have to make this work or do a lot of awkward explaining to people higher than the white haired hero. "You're father was Konoha's white fang. Your words are taken into account even by foreign Hokage. You are a friend to the Sannin and Senpai to almost all Anbu today. To say the least, every ninja wants to be you."

"I fail to see your point, Anko-san." Kakashi said with a confused smile.

Anko looked to struggle with her thoughts for a moment before turning her face back to Kakashi's. He could tell she was thinking something perverse as a devilish grin crossed her face, eyes wide open like she had come up with some great revelation.. Maybe just as simple but still as impossible as him taking off his mask while they did it. Maybe something like bondage master slave fetishism. Kakashi couldn't know but he was sure it wouldn't be pleasant. "I Wanna Have Your Babies! I want to carry on the Hatake lineage. The reputation, the Opportunity, the SEX!" Anko's hands slammed down on Kakashi's shoulders, fingers steel hard as hey gripped him against his bed. "I may be half crazy but I can be a good mom. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do and you don't even have to take care of it."

This had gone on too long...

Kakashi had seen words were wind at this point. He pushed Anko off easily. Good a ninja as she was, powerful as she had become with her seal, the seal that cascaded the length of her entire body, Kakashi could lift the woman off him. Anko seemed surprised. "I think we can stop this now, Anko-san." he said, body flickering to his door. Anko was there not half a second later. "Let me out of my home, Mitarashi-san."

Anko was taken aback. "Whatya mean let you out of your home?"

"I can't abide by this sort of behavior Anko-san." Kakashi said simply. "This has gone on far enough and I am beyond feeling comfortable with our interactions. We can do this one of three ways." Anko didn't say anything but Kakashi knew it was the wind-up. She would stay quiet. She could not know what this was. Kakashi counted on it. "You can be an adult and accept that this won't happen." Anko looked scared. "You can be a childish woman and insist on this and I will show you how futile it is." She almost cracked a smile, he could see it. "Or you can be so physically forceful as you were being and we can settle this as ninja do, with a fight." Anko's face went white. Kakashi smiled warmly. "I'm untouchable, Anko-san. You'll be wise to remember that means I have tricks for every aspect of my life.

"I learned most of my romantic prowess from Jiraiya-sama and his books. The only people who are near as money wise and practical as I am in the village are Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru and Hyuuga Neji. I'm a better outdoorsman than anyone in the Inuzuka or Aburame." Kakashi leaned closer with a grin that could easily be seen through that ever-present mask of his. "And I'm a better talker than most of the PR ninja in the village. I've done more political seduction by mission than you statistically." Kakashi did his homework. All that allowed him the luxury he had now was a tightly woven tapestry of Stuff he made sure to keep tabs on; mission statistics for all the major ninja of the village and all the newest, most promising ninja of the village, (of which Anko very solidly belonged to the latter) every acquaintance's non-private schedules for the next six months, the accounts and affairs of everyone's rent. (Though that particular was technically not allowed Kakashi was able to skip a few of the "security protocols" with his high status more often than not)

Bottom line was Kakashi could beat Anko at her own game and already had. Anko had to respect that...

The realization was slow and a little sad. Anko stood in shock for a while, stuck in place staring at him, unable to move or halt the process from dawning of her. Then she gradually started getting it, he could see the gears ticking in her head. Slowly, definitely, she realized that this wasn't going to work any way she worked it out. She stared at the floor soon enough, slowly stepping to Kakashi's couch and reaching beside it, a fortunate blind spot the copy ninja hadn't cared to look in after arriving. Rope, toys, condoms, crops, a bull whip, handcuffs, a bottle of knockout medication and a small case Kakashi recognized to be something from a hospital. It was a case for syringes and medicine vials. He guessed some fast acting nerve agent that would act as an aphrodisiac or a truth serum effect. Kakashi hadn't guessed Anko would go that far. "So much for that healthy investment..." She snapped her finger and the lights around his house clicked, not changing but no doubt on a different setting. "Seals off. Here's the keys." She drew a ring of keys from her breasts and tossed them to Kakashi. He made them disappear quick enough.

"I'm not sure what you think on a regular basis but I am sure it would be best if the next man you try to seduce you not pull the same trick." Kakashi said, walking around his home to make sure none of Anko's "traps" were still set. "Thank you for seeing reason, however."

Anko said nothing, brooding on the couch. Kakashi saw no need to kick her out quite immediately. It was clear that this had been a sobering experience for her. Kakashi glanced at her on his couch as the Heaven Seal slowly slunk back to its place on her neck. She was sad, it looked, though not as much as she was disappointed. It was clear the kunoichi had planned this differently than it went on. "Doesn't make much of a difference if it isn't you..." She mumbled just quiet enough that Kakashi was sure she thought she hadn't been heard

"Have you been given some assignment to look into me?" Kakashi asked, knowing full well he had know business even hearing her answer.

"Not that!" Anko said, raising her head quickly before piping down and lowering her head again, somewhat dejected still. "You're just the perfect guy..."

"Are you insinuating you're the perfect woman?" Kakashi asked with a smile, his thoughts tickling him a moment.

"Course not." Anko muttered. "Anything that bleeds four to seven days a month is hardly perfect. Women are just out of that category... but excellent genes..." Anko looked at Kakashi longingly. He could see it in her eyes. "Amazing sex... That's attainable... That's all I want."

"So..." Kakashi began. "You're saying you want to slow down? Start a family."

"No." Anko said, seeming a bit irritated. "I'm saying I want your penis in my vagina eight days a week and I'm ready to go full term to get it..."

Kakashi wasn't sure what to feel at this. He was flattered, of course, but quite a bit more than a little disturbed. Anko was obsessed with him in the least obsessive way he had ever been able to fathom. She didn't care of the social norms of society. She didn't heed normal advice. She was an outstanding ninja so she didn't really have to, to be fair, but it bothered Kakashi to be in her company. "I'm not really sure it works that way..." Kakashi spoke dismissively.

"That's why I have you!" Anko finally couldn't hold herself back. She stood up and advanced on Kakashi. "I... Have problems..." Anko seemed to struggle with her words for a moment. "But... For..." Anko stared down at the junction between Kakashi's legs for some time. She licked her lips once, twitched involuntarily, lost herself in psychically undressing him... until Kakashi kindly cleared his throat to bring her back. "I..." she started, "For that I'd fuck no other men ever again... I'd... I'd quit being a ninja. I'd... I'd..." Anko struggled again. "I know that you... are the best man in the village. I'm... nuts. But I'd be a good wife and a good mom... with help... lots..." Anko could clearly tell she wasn't helping her point at all.

Kakashi sighed and placed his hands upon her shoulders. "Anko-san," He started, "I do find you attractive, however, I don't believe you and I are meant to be that to each other."

"We could say the kid is a clamp." She suggested hopefully

"I'm very sure that's not how it works." he countered.

Anko looked at the floor briefly before resuming her place on Kakashi's couch again, as though she owned the place. For the record, Kakashi did try to keep his eyes off her whilst she lay, body mostly bare and covered in all the perfect places for his imagination to run wild. Anko truly did know what she was doing, that much Kakashi had never been able to deny. "I think that it would be best I you go up soon an-" he had started before Anko cut him off.

"What's this?" She asked, pulling from an end-table a copy of Icha Icha Paradise. Kakashi wasn't sure if she had ever read them.

"That's..." he began

"Oh!" She exclaimed, flipping through the pages. "My girlfriend reads this! She says it's really high class and well done. I've done some research. She's got like... every outfit in the book in three sizes; Cosplay I think she called it."

"Cosplay?" Kakashi's interested perked.

"Ya, somethin like getting up in the costumes and..." Anko looked at Kakashi, who was now keenly attentive to her. She got it... "Wigs and stuff... I know she's got it in my size. Pretty sure I flipped through this series once or twice too, now that I look at it. I can get into this one girl's part real well, actually." And Anko weaved her words together, pulling the white haired man along the entire time. In truth she had skimmed through a few good scenes once or twice and even read a few particularly juicy ones but she didn't know much of the series, understanding this, she wisely played only to what she knew. Kakashi WAS an avid reader of this series, clearly. She wouldn't be fooling him with any made up preferences.

And before she knew it, Hatake Kakashi was interested. Kakashi had fallen for it, the last ace in the hole, the most unlikely, unthinkable, downright unexpected ending to her own personal pet mission just happened to fall right into her lap. It really was just like any other job after Anko figured it out. The key to any successful operation, Anko had learned long ago, was a point of interest, something to catch he eye o the target. Once you had that it was pretty easy to keep from screwing up if you knew the job. This was no different. Anko had figured it out and Kakashi would be pleasing her all night.

"You know, Anko-san." Kakashi said to Anko after they had finished a rousing conversation about the proper way to perform reverse cowgirl in the manner his book had tried to make it. "I have to say I didn't think we'd get along so well, me and you."

"Few people do. Say I'm a crazy woman." Anko smiled

"Can't say I disagree with that entirely," He admitted under his breath

"It's true, so what." She countered. "Point that matters is if I can hold it in check when it matters." She grinned at this as Kakashi sighed.

End the night progressed. Anko and Kakashi drank to the holidays and discussed the few common likes they shared, and dislikes as well. They ate a small meal sometime around ten and Kakashi was surprised at himself that he hadn't wanted to kick her out yet. When one got to know Mitarashi Anko not tied up and being molested, it made it easier to see her positive bits. Problem was, Kakashi was a little too busy paying attention to her naughty bits, the tiny g-string that adorned her hips, that minuscule triangle with a lit up Christmas Tree right on the front. That top that just barely fit, just barely. Anko hadn't felt the need, for some reason, to redress herself. She still had plans, after all.

The night dragged. By the time they stopped drinking they were more than willing to just crawl into a bed together and "sleep" the drunk away. The next morning Kakashi woke to the crisp morning air, fresh as a daisy, moving groggily as Anko's hand slid from his naked chest. He jumped a bit at this, waking the nude woman who lay beside him. "What are you doing in my bed?" Kakashi asked cautiously.

"A merry Christmas to you too, Kakashi-dono." Anko said smiling, rubbing an eye with the back of her hand. "You didn't seem so against me in your bed last night." She had most certainly won. A career of seduction certainly DID mean something, at least. "And it was the best." She mumbled almost more to herself than Kakashi, leaving the white haired ninja red in the face.

Kakashi had realized that he had to make good. Anko knew where he lived, slept and spent his time, as s had shown him he day before. He sighed. "Anko-san..." he started, Anko's attention completely on him, almost like putting him on the spotlight. "I think-"

"Last night was a mistake?" She cut him off. "That we were drunk and you couldn't control yourself? Save it, I've heard the guilt parties time and again. I'm not giving up." She smiled, rolling to face away from Kakashi with a squeak while she stretched

"That I would like you to bring you to the Private Christmas Ball tonight."

Anko sat bolt upright. That party? "THAT PARTY?" She bellowed. Kakashi nodded. "like... Like the super special high ranking ninja and kunoichi and VIP Christmas Hokage Bash that she does every year?" Kakashi nodded. Anko kissed him. "I..." Anko caught herself. A look of distrust crossed her face. "Why are you doing this?" She asked

Kakashi paused, looked out the window... sighed. "Because you wanted so hard to spend Christmas Eve with me that you replaced all the locks in my home, lit it up and made my bedroom into a mistletoe paradise. I have to at least made it u by taking you out for Christmas Dinner... It's only proper."

Anko grinned. "Aww, big bad Anbu captain's got a soft side."

"I teach students now, Anko-san, not Anbu work." Kakashi corrected her.

"Ya, I know the three punks you sent to the Chuunin Exam. Haruno Sakuya, Uchiha Sasuke and... oh what was his name?"

"Naruto," Kakashi chimed in with a smile underneath his mask, "And her name is Sakura. I'm surprised you remembered Sasuke-kun and didn't remember Naruto."

"Well the guy with the duck butt hairdo was the last of his kind and all. Last Uchiha."

_Never mind the fact that Naruto is the host to the Kyuubi and has saved this village more times than one._ Kakashi wanted to say but refrained. Instead he said, "Do you have anything to wear aside from the..." Kakashi looked down at the two scanty garments on the floor that had been Anko's clothing. "Costume last night."

Anko gave a smile. "I'll see you in the park at eight." She said before she body flickered from the room, leaving her clothing behind and leaving Kakashi sighing and somewhat confused.

That Night At The Park!

Kakashi stood waiting for her, his body adorned in a men's kimono, black hakama, deep blue haori, a Santa hat upon his head, blocking out all of it but his right eye from view amongst his Hitai Ite and mask. A pair of sword rested at his side. He hadn't been waiting long before a whistle reached his ears. He turned and there she was, Mitarashi Anko in an outfit of pale pink silk with genuine white rabbit tail trim. The sleeves were half solid pale gales half way down her arms, dancing protectively around them in the crisp evening breeze. The dress hugged her form effectively enough to show her curves but hung off her just loose enough for Kakashi's mind to wander about how easy it would be to slip off. He scolded himself in his mind for his thoughts but he couldn't seem to shake them one way or another. Had they truly gone so far the previous night. Obviously so. Kakashi knew basic math at least; how to put two and two together, that is. As she came closer Kakashi noted the gloves; elbow length silk with similar rabbit tail trim, little tails sewn close together to make a perfect fluffy trim.

They were the frostiest blue Kakashi had ever seen, almost see-through but still strangely opaque. Her stockings were similarly colored, hugging her well defined calves and thighs all the way up under her dress. She wore boots of purest white, of what animal the copy ninja could not say. However, they were of superb quality, a gentle fur of sorts covering the entirety with the softest, whitest skin just beneath the perfect layer of thick soft bristle hair. They hugged here ankles and feet marvelously, defining the features of her lower calves with just a bit of flare at the tops. She wore a deep green net over her hair, the usual do but perhaps a bit better put together than most days, like she had obsessed over it for a spell before leaving to make sure it was just right, as women often did. As she stopped in front of him she did a little bow and Kakashi had chance to truly admire her hair.

The net was made of emeralds with diamonds linking them together. It was firmly anchored into place in her hair but it almost seemed to float on her head, every little light around her lighting her face up when he looked at it. The end of every lock of hair in her standard ponytail was braided together and tipped with a single bead of gold, simple but elegant, just as Kakashi would have liked it, were he aware Anko dressed up so well. However, many locks were braided together above the tips, twined into each other and out here and there with threads of Aurora Borealis almost scintillating within the strands, pumping ominously that many colored glow in the braids. Her braids seemed like the only thing that anchored it down, lest it would discharge and the room would light up green and blue with all other colors fading in and out.

She almost looked like a snowflake bent and pulled into the shape of a woman. Even her skin was a little blue, though not as if she were unhealthy... Like it belonged. On her neck lie a modest silver strand and at the junction of her left arm, right where trim met trim on her outfit, Kakashi spied a platinum band with the symbol of Konoha on it to finish the display of beauty. "You..." Kakashi started, looking her up and down again as she finished the bow, "Look very nice." He smiled.

Anko forced a blush at this. _Its for the sex, a lifetime of sex. _Anko told herself inwardly._ Oh my god I gotta have it again!_ Best sex ever hadn't been a word Anko would have used to describe it if she would have been made to, and any interrogator would only have to ask halfheartedly for Anko to spill all the juiciest details of last night's session. It was more than that. It was something that transcended "Best" and just occupied a "WHOLE NOTHA LEVEL" about seven levels higher than the next level up from "Best". In truth Anko was also half frozen. Konoha was in the perfect climate and elevation for snow and the only reason they weren't under it was because shoveling snow was an F ranked mission that never had a shortage of up and coming ninja to do it. The snow was only a foot deep at the very deepest and normally just a few inches; they latest snowfall.

_At least compliment the hair directly_ She thought _I spent four fucking hours on this hair to impress you. Compliment my hair!_ "Thank you very much, Kakashi-dono." She said with a smile, a genuine one. What Kakashi lacked in costume-based flare he made up for in suave basic tradition. It was just like a noble Samurai and a snow princess _Like a fuckin manga!_ Anko screamed into her mind, elated as punch for her thoughts to be so genuine. Of course she didn't show it. "You didn't wait long... did you?" She uttered quietly, her voice just above a whisper. Kakashi was a stickler for the classics, Anko could tell. She would be best to stick to the standard gender binary for this routine. Before night end they would be public. Kakashi would say something about it to her and then it would be official and then it would get talked about. They'd already had sex and she was his arm candy. _I'm just the right height for us to link arms._ She thought with glee as they did so, walking toward the party location.

"I just got here." Kakashi said with a smile. Anko couldn't really see his face save his right eye but a smile she could hear in his voice and see through his mask.

"That's good." Anko said, "I was worried I would be late," A lie, as much as the facade she wore right there and then. She'd arrived early and times it so she "arrived" just after he did. Clearly Anko wasn't a standard girlie gal. She was a sex fiend and a Kunoichi with pretty intense skills. She had a sadistic streak that only a true dom or a truly unique individual could quell with their very presence (of which Kakashi was the latter) and she made a business of stalking down every man she liked until she could find a way to have her way with him.

But... It would be prudent of her to allow Kakashi to forget that for this night at the very least, if not just keep the facade on for a year and get him real stuck in it, then gradually ween him off of this Anko to the Real Mitarashi Anko. _You only need sex once a day at first._ She let herself know, _Patience will pay off in the long run. Just get knocked up. Think of all the Maternity Leave!_ She almost found herself getting excited at the concept of the new fetish. Whether the pain or not, the eighteen years of bullshit, Anko was completely ready to do this... It was for the Untouchable Copy Ninja, after all. For a life time of Kakashi Anko would raise any amount of children, his help or not.

She had prayed earlier, that was a first. _Been how many years since I cared about gods and divinity? I wonder if they give a fuck anymore about me._ "What is this party like?" Anko asked innocently.

"You'll see." Kakashi answered.

They made light conversation during the walk; what they wanted to eat, the mistletoe and kissing, private presents between loved ones and of old Christmases past. Anko tried to insert romantic assertions as often as she could while still being tactful. She was sue she was doing a fine job of it but it was so hard to tell with the mask wearing ninja.

They walked some way into an older district of Konoha, one Anko had certainly been through but didn't know or frequent in any sort of way. He led her down a little alley and into a hole in the wall which led to a dingy set of old stairs all smelling of age and years of shoes stepping over them, a cool damp air looming with the smell. They walked down the stairs some time, Anko feeling somehow less and less comfortable with each step before coming to a large wooden door, a full arch of beautiful black cherry with a golden knob. Kakashi opened the door and Anko's nose was assaulted by the smells of a holiday feast. Pumpkin pie, turkey, goose, ham, pasta, mashed potatoes. All the holiday finery and all of its pomps and circumstance. She caught view of Tsunade at the gigantic hearth in the middle of the three story tall ballroom through the doorway. Fleetingly she stepped in.

"What you expected?" Kakashi asked with a tone of satisfaction in his voice.

"I couldn't have expected something this beautiful." she replied truthfully.

The hall actually had four massive bonfires going in a line, huge holes in the ceilings with screens for the smoke to rise through. It must have been two hundred feet long and seventy-five feet wide, that hall. And every fifty feet a five foot wide bonfire roared loudly, lighting the room, stacks of logs on the walls for guests to pick up and throw in as they would. The ceilings weren't dark, however. Countless candles (torches upon second glance) dotted the rafters, lighting the hall's top up an making it all look so much grander than it was. Lights strung in icicles down the walls, glowing dimly their holiday colors and along the walls were low fires, illuminating joyous scenes of merry making and family time spending with more or less generic characters; the father a ninja, the mother a civilian. Their two aged children were both boys, one a young ninja and an infant in mother's arms, a little girl. It was among the first scenes she stared at for any amount of time in the room.

Interestingly, if she thought it as her and Kakashi, she was pleased to find a warmth in her chest instead of between her legs for once. The warm air was wonderful to her pale frost skin. Her cheeks got rosiness back in full swing and the gentle body flush went well with the pale blue tone she had given herself. "Anko-san." Kakashi spoke as they stepped into the great hall and the door closed behind them ominously. She stared up at him innocently. "You can drop the act."

A frown touched her lips. "I thought you liked women like this."

"I do," He admitted, "But I think you're trying too hard. You look stunning already. You clearly care at least enough to be acceptable. What more could I ask for?"

"A child and a happy life with a beautiful wife?"

Kakashi sighed briefly. "I guess I can't avoid it can I?"

Anko felt a pang of fear spread through her. _I have that half gallon of mint super fatty chocolate chip at home still right?ugh, I've done this a million and a half times, why you I feel like such a fat ugly whore?_ She noted the buffet tables, seven feet across and twenty feet long they were the dashed line that linked the dot bonfires from a bird's eye view. Down the wide centers of the tables were huge meaty centerpieces or works of fruit art that you could freely pick off of. There was a deep dish pan five feet long and three feet wide full of pasta swimming in a savory cream sauce, light brown and full of healthy chunks of beef and venison. "Let's get something to eat." she insisted coolly, well mannered. Kakashi didn't say anything but they did eat together. They danced, Anko caught him under the mistletoe and the Hokage babbled for a few minutes atop a table how she loved everyone, was really drunk and wished everyone a happy holidays before a few of the other ninja of the party had to help her down because they didn't trust her not to fall and crack her head open.

The party was perfect. Anko even talked meaningfully to Kakashi for some time, disregarding her false innocence or her urge to have sex with him. At the end of the party people gave gifts to everyone else. Anko got a few gifts that she hadn't been expecting. She looked at the tags of the dozen presents she had gotten out of the hundreds of people here. One Akimichi Chouji, One Sannin Tsunade: Hokage of Konohagakure No Sato, two Mighto Gai, One Yuuhi Kurenai and Asuma. (A joint gift as it was from both of them. Asuma really hadn't bothered to put his last name) Haruno Sakura and Naruto pitched in for a present last moment (The hall had a small stall with great last minute presents) and she got a very unexpected gift from Hyuuga Neji, though she guessed Hyuuga Hiashi had put him up to it through an order to make himself known to women. He existed here as a special Hyuuga Head Family guard, to guard the leader and heirs, Hyuuga Hinata and Hanabi, who had each given Anko a gift.

As the fires were slowly dying hours later the full Anko and Kakashi, quite tipsy from the night of partying, decided to walk back to his place (the closer). As the cool air touched Anko's lungs she felt more sober, cleaner and more active. Kakashi seemed the same. "Could I stay the night again, Kakashi-dono?" She asked, gripping his arm a bit tighter.

Kakashi gave a smile, though still not looking at her. "You really aren't going to give up."

Anko blushed for real this time, the first time all night. "I can't stop wanting you. You're the best and even I want to be married and have children some day."

"And it must be with me?" He asked

Anko said to this, "I've fucked too many men to not know that was better than I've ever gotten and logically speaking you're the best husband material there is. You're successful, with good blood and a good head, which I don't have." Kakashi stayed silent for a moment as they rounded a corner. He stopped in place, then disappeared to the roof of a nearby building. Anko gave chase, expecting the worst, that he would just flee back to his home and leave her behind. He was still on that same roof when she got up their half a second later, trying desperately not to rip that completely heatless slip of an outfit she had on. "What was that-." Kakashi put a finger to her lips and another to his own, then he let her go and pointed up. Anko's ears picked up bells, beautiful bells chiming through the night. A man called onto others whose voices were not heard to keep going through the night. Anko looked up and scanned the sky.

And through the air far above soared a sled in midair with a man in red atop it, a bag in the back and all of it pulled by Reindeer, flying through the heavens. Only when they could surely see the sled no longer did they tear their eyes from the cloudless sky. "Well if that's how it is, why not..." Kakashi said smiling next to her. "I'm not saying I'll make any vows or have a child with you but I'll give this a try... I shouldn't be bad after just getting the proof every kid yearns to have all their childhood days, right?" Kakashi gave a soft chuckle. Within a half an hour they were back at his place.

_It's official... I SAW SANTA CLAUS!_ Anko couldn't get it off her mind _And I'm in! Best to get him in tonight._ "I'm glad," She said as she drank some warm spiced(and spiked) eggnog, "That I was able to get you to try." She grinned, sitting next to him on his couch watching the fire in his hearth. "For that," She whispered into his ear, "I think I should pay you back for the hot springs yesterday." Kakashi's eyes went wide.

{HR}

And there ya go! Yes there will be a lemon eventually. PM me. Get to know me XP You'll get it eventually I promise XD Hope you all liked it. Since Anko and Kakashi are considerably more adult characters this particular Christmas Oneshot was an adult one, last minute written and a little twonky in comparison to my last Christmas fics. I hope I did well but I like constructive criticism. So please give me some talks and help me be a better writer if ya can ^^ I'm glad I could write my fourth Christmas fic on FF. Been a while since Pulchritudinous First Chappie but I'm still in it ^^ Please review!

A blessed Holidays to all and to all of you I wish a wonderful new year.

Yours,

Tankou001


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